Sunday, August 29, 2010

Lifes Little Surprises

Six seemed like a nice, round number. It works well with seating arrangements nearly everywhere: airplanes, Disneyland, restaurants, and of course, our own kitchen table. Jump up to seven and you've got an uneven number. It's definition as an "odd" number is true.

Why all the talk about numbers? Well, we're currently a family of six. Some time in the month of April that will change. We will become a family of seven. That's right. The Lord has chosen to bless us with another one of His precious children! We're genuinely surprised but also incredibly grateful.

As I reflect over the past few days, it's been a whirlwind of activity: a positive pregnancy test, deliberating when to announce the "big news" and thoughts coming from every direction. Rob and I both come from large families and we always knew ours would be on the larger side. A while back, we had toyed with the thought of five, but you could say we didn't want to "play with fire". Three of the four have varying degrees of special needs and we sorta have this mind set: If we have another, all bets are off, so let's not even go there. Plus, kids aren't inexpensive! So it was settled. Four it was. Of course, God had other plans!

So here we are. So many thoughts have consumed us. One particular weighs the heaviest: Will this child be healthy? What is healthy? What is perfect? To be completely honest, I'm scared. Our track record isn't great. Yes, all of the kid's issues have been manageable, but I question how much more we could handle. Yet these are human feelings, not those of Christ. I catch myself and hear Him saying, "Trust in Me and believe in me. Have faith."

I often say the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle with Him by our side. It's scary, yet so very true. This week I found myself re-reading Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I have no idea how the sweet baby growing inside of me will be presented. It may be a child that, in the worlds eyes, does have perfect health. It may have "perfect health" as defined by God. Between now and the time that "perfect child" is placed in my arms, I am certain of one thing: my faith will be tested. I will attend doctor appointments where I will be told this and that and offered more tests than the average pregnant women. It's part of my life with my medical history. I will agree to take some of the tests. I will elect not to take some. It's a scary road to embark on and Satan will be tailgating me all the way. But I have to keep my eyes on my destination and remember to refuel through prayer and time in God's word every single day.
It won't be easy, but I'm aware of who's tailgating me. I have complete confidence that a fender-bender can...and avoided!

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